Short answer: you can't force thoughts to stop, but you can give them somewhere else to go. Deal with your worries earlier in the evening, write down what is on your mind before bed, calm your body with slow breathing, and get out of bed if you have been lying awake for a long time. Done for a couple of weeks, these steps teach your brain that bed is for sleeping, not for thinking.

Why can't I sleep when I overthink?

During the day your attention is busy with classes, work, people and your phone. At night, the room goes quiet and the thoughts you pushed aside all day finally get your full attention.

Being tired also makes worries feel bigger. A message you sent, an exam result or a fight with someone can feel like a disaster at 1 AM and much more manageable the next morning. Your brain treats lying awake as a good time to "solve" problems, but in bed it usually just goes round in circles.

The more you try to stop thinking, the more awake you become. That is why trying harder rarely works.

How to stop overthinking at night: 7 steps

1. Give your worries a time slot earlier in the evening

Set aside 15 minutes in the early evening, not close to bedtime, as "worry time". Sit down with a notebook and write out what is bothering you. For each worry, ask: is there something I can do about this? If yes, write the next small step. If no, write that down too.

When a worry shows up in bed, remind yourself: "I have a time for this tomorrow evening."

2. Empty your head onto paper before bed

Keep a notebook by your bed. Before you turn off the light, write down tomorrow's tasks and anything you are afraid of forgetting. Your mind often keeps replaying things simply so it doesn't lose them. Once they are on paper, it can let go.

3. Calm your body, not just your mind

Racing thoughts and a racing body feed each other. Try slow breathing: breathe in gently through your nose for 4 counts, and out through your mouth for 6 counts. Repeat for a few minutes. Making the out-breath longer than the in-breath helps signal to your body that it is safe to rest.

4. Notice thoughts without arguing with them

Instead of debating a worry ("what if I fail?" "but I studied..." "but what if..."), label it: "I'm having the thought that I might fail." Then bring your attention back to your breath or to the feeling of the pillow. You are not trying to make the thought disappear, only to stop following it.

5. Get out of bed if you have been awake for a long time

If you have been lying awake for what feels like 20 minutes or more, get up. Sit somewhere dim and do something calm and boring, like reading a paper book, until you feel sleepy, then go back to bed. This stops your brain linking your bed with lying awake and worrying.

6. Put the phone away before bed

Scrolling feeds your mind more to think about, from other people's lives to news and messages that need replies. Try to stop using your phone 30 to 60 minutes before bed, and keep it out of reach if you can. If you live in a hostel or PG and need your phone as an alarm, turn on Do Not Disturb and place it face down across the room.

7. Keep the same wake-up time every day

Waking up at the same time, even after a bad night and even on weekends, is one of the most effective ways to reset your sleep. Avoid long naps in the day, and limit tea, coffee and energy drinks after mid-afternoon.

When is it more than just overthinking?

Everyone has the occasional sleepless night before an exam, an interview or a big decision. It is worth speaking to a professional if:

  • you have trouble sleeping most nights for more than a few weeks
  • worry is affecting your studies, work, mood or relationships
  • you feel low, hopeless or exhausted most of the time
  • you have panic attacks, or wake up with your heart racing

Overthinking at night is often part of anxiety or stress, and therapy approaches such as CBT can help with both the worry and the sleep. You can read more about online therapy for overthinking.

If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, please don't wait. Call Tele-MANAS on 14416 (free, 24x7) or 112, or talk to someone you trust right now.