Am I depressed or just sad? How do I tell the difference?

Sadness is an emotion. Depression is a condition. You can feel sad after watching a sad movie or listening to sad songs, and the feeling usually passes. With depression, you might feel low even while watching a comedy or in situations that would normally cheer you up. That is because depression isn't only about mood. It affects your body too, including sleep, appetite and energy, and it is linked with changes in how the brain regulates mood.

The simplest way to tell them apart: if you have felt low, empty or uninterested in things most of the day, nearly every day, for more than two weeks, and it is affecting your daily life, it may be more than sadness, and it is worth speaking to a professional.

What normal sadness looks like

Normal sadness is when you feel low, or as people say, your "vibe is off" today. It is connected to what is happening in your life: a disappointment, an argument, missing someone, a bad result. It reflects how you feel emotionally in a particular situation or period of time.

Sadness comes and goes. You may still laugh with a friend, enjoy a good meal or feel better after a good night's sleep. It does not stay for too long, and it does not take over your whole life.

How depression is different

Depression persists. It does not lift when circumstances improve, and it usually comes with changes in your body as well as your mood:

• appetite changes, eating much less or much more than usual
• sleep changes, struggling to sleep or sleeping far too much
• low energy and constant tiredness
• anhedonia, losing interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy
• sometimes, a lower interest in sex

These symptoms need to be evaluated clinically. Only a qualified professional can tell whether what you are going through is depression, and how severe it is.

Signs of depression to watch for

Watch for these, especially if they last more than two weeks:

• feeling low, sad or empty most of the day
• losing interest in activities and people you used to enjoy
• changes in sleep or appetite
• difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• ruminating, replaying the same negative thoughts again and again
• avoiding friends, family and social situations
• struggling to keep up with studies or work
• feeling helpless, hopeless, guilty or worthless

Ruminating often overlaps with overthinking. You can read more about overthinking and racing thoughts.

How long is too long?

If you have been feeling this way for more than two weeks, that is the right time to consult a professional. You don't need to wait until things become unbearable.

What is "smiling depression"?

"Smiling depression" isn't a formal diagnosis, but it describes something very real. You keep following your usual routine, attending classes, going to work, replying to messages and smiling in photos, but inside you feel empty or sad most of the time. Things don't give you the pleasure they used to, and you are not functioning at your best.

Because nothing looks wrong from the outside, people with smiling depression often go unnoticed, and they may not take their own feelings seriously either. If this sounds like you, your feelings still count.

What helps with sadness

Sadness usually eases when you deal with what caused it and look after yourself:

• work practically on the situation that is upsetting you, one small step at a time
• move your body; physical exercise naturally lifts your mood
• watch a comforting movie or series
• meet a friend
• sit with your parents or someone you trust and talk it out

What helps with depression

Depression needs clinical help. Willpower alone is usually not enough, and that is not your fault. Treatment often includes:

• Therapy to change thinking patterns. Approaches such as CBT help you notice and restructure negative thoughts and break the cycle of rumination.
• Behavioural activation. Gradually bringing back activities that give you a sense of pleasure and achievement, even before you feel like doing them, because action often comes before motivation returns.
• Supportive care. A safe, consistent space to talk, along with support from the people around you.
• Medication when needed. In moderate to severe depression, a psychiatrist may recommend medication. Antidepressants can help ease symptoms and make it easier to benefit from therapy. Medication should only be started, changed or stopped under a doctor's guidance.

You can read more about online therapy for depression and low mood.

When to get help

Please talk to a professional if you notice that:

• you feel emotionally empty or low most of the time
• you no longer want to do things you used to enjoy
• your interest in sex has dropped
• your eating habits have changed
• your sleep is disturbed
• you feel or think in a helpless or hopeless way

and this has been going on for more than two weeks. If you aren't sure, these signs that therapy could help are a good place to start.

Don't wait for your mood to fix itself, and don't let the fear of being labelled as someone whose "vibe is always off" stop you. Depression is a condition, and like any other medical condition, it needs proper treatment. You are not at fault. Take the first step, and you can get better.

If you are having thoughts of death, suicide or harming yourself, please reach out right now. Call Tele-MANAS on 14416 (free, 24x7, in many languages) or 112, go to the nearest hospital emergency department, or tell someone you trust. You don't have to wait two weeks for this kind of help.